Ain’t buying your Blu Ray, Mr Lucas,
you’ve tinkered with your babies far too much
and I’m not one for stirring up a ruckus,
I bought the DVDs, I bought the merch—
Darth Vader piggy banks; Lego X-wings—
I know you shouldn’t care, you’re stinking rich
and I should’ve got rid of childish things.
But childhood always returns to my thoughts
and I can still recall a fair few things:
the happy lack of any flying robots;
the older version of Anakin’s ghost;
Solo’s blaster firing off the first shot;
Jabba’s palace never played the host
to a song and dance catastrophe, but oh,
the crap that really winds me up the most
is when you made Darth Vader cry out Nooo!
and turned a shot of underplayed pathos
into a third rate Simpsons episode.
So I’m running from Start Wars like the clappers
to grudgingly admit advancing years.
This sixty quid ain’t filling up your coffers,
I choose instead to spunk the lot on on beer